How To Choose Yourself

2016 was a year of tests, tribulations and rocky waters for a lot of people. Me included. My vision for my blog, my education and my own life got hazy. In a year with so much change, I really entered December with a plan to turn things around. Sometimes you get lost in trying to please other people that you begin to act totally the opposite of what you are. It’s time to take control of my own life again, and live my life for no one but me.

Here are some tips you should follow if you want to choose to love yourself in 2017…

Be kind.

In a world full of hate, jealousy, envy, bigotry.. you get the gist, I had to start forcing myself to live with a full heart.

I would sometimes catch myself judging someone, or getting jealous over a guy or someone having better grades, etc. That is not cute, nor is it how anyone should behave – even if it’s in their own mind. Being kind towards those who aren’t kind back, and being kind to those less fortunate fills my heart. The act of kindness may sometimes be small, but it can have an extreme impact on the receiver. In 2017, I want to learn to treat everyone with kindness and give back when and wherever I can.

Make decisions for self.

I would only go to the gym or go to programs that sparked my interest if my friends went. I did a little better with this during this past semester, but in years prior – I somehow couldn’t fathom going out without friends. If a program sparks your interest, go. If you need to workout, just go. Begin to find independence. If you begin to rely on no one but yourself, then you’re confidence will increase and you’ll begin to hone your focus on yourself.

Eliminate toxic relationships.

Let’s get real. Maybe you’ve been in a relationship that’s clearly done nothing but bring you hurt and negativity. The person may be good, but the relationship is not.

They could be amazing, but you both as a pair just cannot work. This goes for friends, romantic partners and whoever you have in your life that could be toxic to you if you’re paired.  Free yourself of the heavy weight your partnership carried and you’ll begin to feel relief, and happiness.

Don’t compare yourself.

This goes without much explanation. You live a completely different life than anyone in this world. Your life is yours to live, you choose your own destiny. Why try to compare and contrast, then pretend to be someone or something you aren’t? You aren’t going to grow if you continue to compare yourself to others. Follow your own path, not someone else’s.

Make room for self-care.

Especially as a college student, we sometimes start to neglect ourselves. Begin to form a self-care plan. It can be daily or weekly. Make time for yourself and your needs. One of my favorite examples of a self-care plan comes from Enlightened State!

Be okay with your flaws, downfalls, mistakes, etc.

We all mess up. We all fall. The part that messes me and many others up, is that we beat ourselves up over mishaps. Stop! When you make a mistake: determine where you messed up and graciously accept it. There is no point in dwelling on what you could have done, or what you should have decided on instead – learn and apply for next time! As for flaws – internal and external, you must accept it as well. You will live with them for the rest of your natural born life. You must remember that most flaws will never go away. They are apart of you and you must accept them as such.

There could be a lot more to say, but the mere fact that you read this entire post and are open to changing and loving yourself and your beautiful life – says a lot!

What steps have you taken to love yourself? Comment below if any of the tips resonate with you!


  • Caiti

    Loved this post, and definitely needed it! I’m definitely going to focus on doing things for me this year. I can relate way to hard to going out just because friends were or skipping something because I didn’t want to go alone.

  • Yeah, sometimes you can’t help comparing yourself.. but I’m gonna try to stop it! Thank you for reading, Shenga!

  • Thank you so much! Thank you for reading!

  • Comparing myself to others is definitely one of the biggest reasons why 2016 was wrought with insecurity for me. I’m just really glad that this year is a fresh start to look at myself and appreciate and celebrate myself and what I’m doing. Thanks so much for this lovely post!

    Shenga {}

  • sAshay1

    This post was very insightful and dead on. An especially good post for the start of the new year. Thanks for sharing